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Discovering Yourself: Are You Happy?

Ending Average | Are You Happy?This post is part of our series on “Discovering Yourself”.  If you haven’t caught the other posts, you should dive in to the first one, The Permission to Discover Yourself.

I’d like to preface the post today with a disclaimer:

Now is the time to be 100% honest with yourself.  I’ll be open with you (as always), but this process only works if you are completely honest with yourself.  Completely.  You get out what you put in, as they say, and it’s definitely true here.

Ok, are you good to go?

Are you happy?

What a question huh?

Now, let me clarify…  I don’t mean happy right this second or “I just had a cookie” happy.  I mean deep down, smiling with your spleen, “My life is freaking amazing!” happy.

Are you that happy?

I know that’s a question that a lot of us skate around. We avoid asking ourselves as much as possible.  And for a lot of us, maybe we’d be happy to say we’re even mildly satisfied.

Since I started on the path to discovering myself and finding what my vision, my core, is all about, I’ve done some of the most satisfying, happiness-inducing work, and living.  For me, I’m not there all the time…yet.  But it’s coming; I can feel it. “Freaking amazing” happy is definitely around the bend.

Is guilt robbing your happiness?

If you’re not really happy, or even satisfied, it can be hard to acknowledge.

It’s easy to feel guilty about this question too.

I’ve thought before, “Why am I so unhappy?  I have a family.  I have a job.  I’m healthy. What do I have to be upset about?”

So many people don’t have those things, so it’s a valid question right?

Umm, no.

You can, and should, appreciate the great things you have.  But having them doesn’t mean you are obligated, and definitely not guaranteed, to be happy.  Why should people or things outside of yourself, control how you feel inside? Weather can change what you wear, but it doesn’t change who you are.

Speaking of that…

Are you unhappy with who you are?

How do you feel about who you are?  About who you’ve become?

Did you start with one set of ideals and beliefs, only to find yourself down the line with something different guiding your actions?

Maybe you started as an artist with a burning desire to create and share.  And now, you find yourself endlessly working for more money, hoping what it provides will satisfy.

Perhaps you used to help troubled youth find peace and purpose, but it never totally paid the bills.  So you moved on to something that did.

Did the honesty, openness and compassion that once led you, give way to something else a little more ugly?  Maybe apathy, close-mindedness or selfishness?

I don’t believe your heart ever stops yearning for inspiration and purpose.  So even if you’re dreams of old are quiet, the hole left behind is not.  There’s a vacuum to be filled, but only the good stuff sticks.

You deserve to be happy

Let today be the last day of just existing with your unhappiness.  I want you to wage war against it.

You deserve to be happy.  And you are the only one who can make that happen.

So choose today to find the things that make you unhappy.  Write them down, carefully examine them.  If you can eliminate them from your life (cold-turkey) without doing irreparable harm to yourself or your family, then do it.

The things that may do harm, rearrange them, fix them, tweak them.  Gradually weed them out.

Start choosing to do things that make you fulfilled and happy, instead of meaningless junk that wastes time, emotion and energy.  Fill the empty spaces in your life with things that bring you joy, and you might just find yourself ever so slightly changed for the better.  You may even like it.

Your life will change as you choose happiness and joy…and kick unhappiness and despair to the curb.  It’s time to wage war against the things slowing you down and lulling you into a deep, long sleep called death.

Leave a comment below and tell me, what in your life makes you unhappy?  And what are you going to do to change it?

Ready for more, check out the next post in this series on Taking the Risk to Discover Yourself.

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  1. David S. says:

    I’ve spent so long making decisions based on what I perceive to be others’ expectations for me, what they think is best, that I’m not sure I know what makes me happy. I’m trying to answer that question, but it’s really hard right now. I know trying to find the happiness that others seem to think is out there for me is a lost cause. Every time I get close, the expectation changes!!

    • Scott Stephens says:

      Trying to live the life others think you should is an exhausting way to live. I’ve done it, and it is horrible. I know the feeling David.

      You mentioned not knowing what makes you happy… Do you know the types of things you enjoy doing? Or if that question is too difficult, what do you find yourself doing naturally when you have free time?

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